A few days ago, I sent a check to my daughter; this check was a birthday gift. My daughter, who just turned twenty-six, is such a joy. She is witty, beautiful, ambitious, talented, and compassionate. What a girl! I take great pleasure in being her father.
I also sent a check to my automobile insurance carrier.
I derived much satisfaction in sending a check to my daughter. I did not take pleasure is remitting a premium payment to my insurer.
I love my daughter. I do not love my insurance company. My daughter brings me joy. My insurance company keeps me legal.
Serving the Lord Jesus out of a sense of obligation will leave one feeling dry and empty. While I do not know you, I might reasonably conclude that you have "lost your first love." I am making a reference to our Lord Jesus' words to the church in Ephesus (Revelation 2). I will urge you to read and reread this letter to the Ephesians. From a doctrinal standpoint, the Ephesian Christians were orthodox in every sense, but they had allowed their hearts to grow cold. They had lost their first love or, we might say, their best love.
I will suggest you spend time in serious Bible study. This would be an excellent time to devout your attentions to, say, the Gospel of Luke. Reacquaint yourself with Jesus. Rediscover who He is and all that He has done for you. To know Him is to love Him. And if you love Him, you will serve Him with joy.
I love my daughter. Not long ago, she enrolled in school and I sent a check to help with tuition. I am not a wealthy man by any means, but I took sincere pleasure in showing love to my daughter in a tangible way. I will continue paying my car insurance, but I will do so begrudgingly. I do not love my insurance company. I do not take great pleasure in their statisticians, underwriters, and claims representatives. Their actuarial tables leave me cold.
Love Jesus. Pay your insurance premiums.